one year

as i was cleaning today, i started reflecting on where i was one year ago... and more importantly... where i was in relation to today...

in august of 2007, i was:
working two jobs [both enjoying and hating it]
recently dumped [which, as it turns out, was for the best]
rarely home [read: messy apartment]
and in general, feeling quite content...

for some reason, one year later, that "content-ness" has escaped me, and i still cannot grasp just why...

in august of 2008, i am:
working one job [equal income, but a lot of free time]
running to rid myself of anxiety [as opposed to taking medication]
in a much better place [emotionally speaking, of course]
and constantly wondering why i just cannot seem to "get-a-grip"...

i would trade one year ago and do it all over again in a heart beat. why? i don't know. perhaps cleaning will solve that. but right now i'm feeling more mundane than ever. i hate that. it feels foreign. like saying "el marketo," instead of asking where the market is.

for who knows what reason, i find myself wishing it was 2007 again. maybe this year of self-discovery and self-actualization isn't all it has cracked-up to be... i only hope one year from now it'll all be clear... hence the reason for this blog.

only time will tell, i guess.

p.s. don't people typically question this sort of thing around jan. 1st?